Embracing the Freedom of Letting Go

Ever notice how much energy we burn trying to control things we've got zero shot of actually influencing? If you’re anything like me (and if you’re an entrepreneur or someone desperately seeking balance, I know you are), then you’ve probably run through the same mental marathons. Breathe. This is a safe space. And, not to spoil the ending, but no-one wins that race.

The First Time I Learned to Surrender Control

I need to set the scene. I’m 16. First time on a plane. Terrified. I’ve got my Bando instructor, James, next to me. He notices the white-knuckle death grip I’ve got on the armrest as we take off and says with this laid-back finality, “Nothing we can do now.” And for whatever reason, that landed. Hard. The plane’s wheels leave the tarmac, and I have no control over what’s going to happen next…and suddenly, it doesn’t matter, because, well, I have no control over what’s going to happen next.

Not going to win an award for profundity, but in that moment, I felt relief. Not peace or wisdom or enlightenment or whatever the airport bookstore self-help shelf promises. Just relief. For a kid whose life was already built on the twin pillars of anxiety and over-preparation, this was new.

Why Trying to Control Everything is Exhausting (And Futile)

Here’s the gig most entrepreneurs and high-performers run into—we kid ourselves into thinking, with enough hustle and spreadsheets, we can steer every outcome. Trust me, I’ve built the color-coded Gantt charts. I’ve held, and white-knuckled, onto projects and people with both hands as stuff spun out anyway.

The paradox (there’s always a paradox): the tighter you grip, the more things slip. And the anxiety doesn’t prevent disaster. It only adds extra weight to carry, sometimes making it harder to actually handle the things that are in your control.

Freedom, real freedom, starts when you set that mental baggage down. When you honestly admit, “Hey, this stuff—I can’t do anything about it. And that’s not just ‘okay,’ it’s pretty damn liberating.”

How to Embrace Letting Go (Without Joining a Monastery)

You want practical steps. I get it. If it helps, think of this like a martial arts belt system. Nobody wakes up a black belt at letting go of their anxieties. You level up, one surrendered worry at a time.

1. Identify What’s Actually Yours

• Separate what you can act on versus what you’re just catastrophizing about. If you’re not on the plane’s cockpit, you’re not flying the plane.

  • When a challenge pops up, ask yourself, “Is this mine to fix or just mine to feel?”

2. Set Ritual “Drop Zones”

• Give yourself permission to literally name (and then drop) worries you can’t control. Write them down, say them out loud, type them in a note on your phone and hit delete.

  • My personal favorite? The 10-minute worry window. For 10 minutes, I’m allowed to freak out. Then the window closes, and the anxiety doesn’t come with me.

3. Channel That Energy Elsewhere

• All that nervous energy has to go somewhere. Pour it into what is in your hands today. Your health. Your work. Your relationships. Your well-used Gantt chart, if you must.

  • My obsessive personality used to be my worst enemy. Now, when something’s out of my control, I pour that energy into what can change.

4. Practice Daily Acceptance (Even When it Feels Silly)

• Borrow from mindfulness if you like, but just take a second every morning to say, “Some things are not going to go my way. I’ll survive.” Turns out, you mostly do.

  • Remember James on the plane. Sometimes your job is just to be present for the ride, not to pilot it.

    
    

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Quick review, because I need reminders as much as anyone:

• Your sanity deserves better. Control is an illusion; presence is underrated.

• It’s not giving up, it’s wise delegation. You’re not resigning from life, just outsourcing the job of moving the universe to…you know, the universe.

• This is resilience in action. Every time you choose to focus on what’s actually within your ability, you build strength, flexibility, and something much better than a false sense of control.

Resilience isn’t never falling down; it’s getting up again without carrying extra emotional suitcases. Growth comes not when you finally control everything around you, but when you learn to live lighter, move faster, and (occasionally) just enjoy the view from 30,000 feet.

If you’re looking for balance in business or life, this is one of those skills nobody teaches in school but absolutely pays dividends. Training yourself to embrace letting go and surrender effectively (yeah, I said it), frees up energy for the actual work and joy available to you right now.

Still white-knuckling it? Try the practical steps above. And remember, sometimes “nothing we can do now” is the single most productive thought you can have.